“So peaceful. So calm.”
We chose to have a home birth with our second daughter after birthing our first born in the hospital. In our hospital birth with our oldest we were still able to have her naturally, as we had hoped. However, the hours after her birth and the following days led us to desire something different. She was quite healthy and was doing just fine but they continued to do unnecessary evaluations that would wake us all up and disrupt our nursing pattern.
When we found out we were expecting again we decided to look into other options. That is when we found our home-birth midwives and were thrilled with the possibility of doing this differently. Our second baby came rather quickly on a cold December morning and by mid-afternoon, when all was said and done, we were tucked into our cozy bed snuggling with our new baby girl. I will never forget that first day. So peaceful. So calm.
Our dreams of a perfect birth were far surpassed with Audrey’s arrival and we couldn’t possibly imagine having a baby any other way. Our son is due any day and we can’t wait to enjoy this experience again. We feel this decision has been incredibly impactful not only for our immediate family but also for the people closest to us. Their ideas of home births are changing now and we feel so glad to get to share it with others!
Emily and Dan
“My midwives brought care and tenderness to one of the peak events of my life. “
I had two top reasons for desiring a home birth. One, I didn’t want anyone I didn’t know at my birth. Birth is much more than a medical event. It’s personal, sacred, emotional, and powerful. I wanted my birth to be by invitation only!
Two, no unnecessary interventions–or at least greatly minimized. Can’t get out of unnecessary interventions at the hospital. Even in best cases where they’re minimal, they’re still there. I knew that with Trillium, I would trust that any interventions that took place were necessary. For example, the Pitocin shot after the placenta came. I trusted that the medicine was in my best interest. If I was given a Pit shot in the hospital, I would question its necessity just because of being in the hospital.
I chose home birth for the birth I hoped for, but ended up valuing the prenatals greatly. It was always a joy to spend time with our midwives Emme and Clare. Another amazing benefit that came to light was how this pregnancy and birth was a whole family affair. That wouldn’t have happened within other models of care. My boys were present for prenatals and the birth, and I believe their involvement helped them welcome Louisa with joy and love. They are so sweet with her.
I am blessed that the reality of my home birth was everything I hoped for. I was struck by how normal it all seemed– of course birth IS normal. But generally in our culture families who choose home birth are viewed as reckless or extraordinarily brave, and the birth itself rather wild or unfathomable. Well, I don’t view myself as reckless or brave. I’m just a woman who had a baby, and it was so normal and comfortable (not always physically comfortable, ha ha).
My midwives brought care and tenderness to one of the peak events of my life.
“…supposed to be about love and tranquility and family.”
In February 2009, just months after getting married, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. As I sat in the neurologist’s office and listened to him tell me to get used to the idea of living in a wheelchair and that I could continue drinking alcohol in mass quantity without any negative effects beyond what anyone who drinks too much would experience, something changed in me. I knew he had to be wrong. There had to be SOMETHING I could do besides daily injections, steroids, and frequent doctor visits. I left his office feeling unsettled and distrustful of his advice. I changed my life completely within 3 days – I read countless books on natural healing, scoured the internet for success stories, and became raw vegan and a non-drinker. I essentially healed my MS.
After my diagnosis but before a lot of my healing, I read horror stories of women with MS and how childbirth often triggers an attack. I told my mom that maybe I’d never be able to have kids. I cried a lot. About a year later, feeling great, healthy, and in the best physical shape of my life, I told my husband I wanted a baby. So we made one!
I had read about home birth on a raw vegan blog. It was a new idea for me, but it triggered a, “yes, yes, yes!” reaction in me as much as my neurologist’s advice has triggered a, “no, no, no!” one. It just made sense. Birth wasn’t supposed to be about fear and surgery and intervention – it was supposed to be about love and tranquility and family! And those are things that are at HOME. Luckily, I married a man who had always been suspicious of the American medical model and who was on board with a home birth.
We prepared ourselves as best we could with a Bradley class and discussions with other parents, always holding in the back of our minds that I might have an exacerbation of my MS symptoms postpartum. In October 2010, we had our first baby, at home, in our bed. In the best way possible, it was fairly uneventful. My sweet girl, Violet, came out forehead-first, a “star-gazer.” Only now, looking back and after many discussions with my wonderful midwives, is it really clear to me that had I been in a hospital I very possibly would’ve ended up with a c-section.
Although I have had some MS symptoms since Violet’s birth, they have been minor and few and far between. I know they will disappear once I can concentrate a lot of time on myself. I am so thankful, every day, for my dis-ease and the path down which it has lead me. I never would’ve known about home birth without it.
We welcomed our second daughter this past December, in a tub in our living room, on the birthday of one of our beloved midwives, with her older sister watching.
In many ways, my dream of my home births IS my reality – they were warm, happy, exciting events shrouded in a hormone-induced haze of forgetfulness. And, I have to admit, I love that my beautiful, incredibly healthy children are a walking “fuck you,” to everyone who told me that I was going to kill myself and/or my baby by choosing to have them at home.
Check back tomorrow for part 4 in our series!